116…142…123…178…134…128…133…140
They are my weight over the past 20 years. Yes, I’m putting it all out there for the general public to see.
I’m 5’4″. Exactly. As a high-schooler I weighed 116 pounds. I wore size 4/5.
At ages 18 and 19 I worked at Dairy Queen and that second year there I had the perk of free meals….and every day for lunch I had a Triple Cheese and Bacon Burger, onion rings, soda, and usually a blizzard or sundae. Just the thought of eating that much now makes me want to gag! I was still a size 4/5.
For my early adult life (ages 18-21) I maintained around 120 pounds. Still a size 4/5.
At age 21 I got a desk job. Over the next two years I slowly gained weight. I really didn’t notice it too much because I loved clothes shopping and I would buy new outfits almost weekly. My size went from a 4 to a 6 to an 8 to a 10 and at my peak I was starting to wear size 12. I didn’t see it as a problem until one unseasonably warm late-winter day when I went to pull on my size 10 shorts and I couldn’t get them up my thighs. I refused to buy shorts the next size up. I weighed 142 pounds when I finally got on a scale. I was 23 years old.
According to weight charts, I should have been 125 pounds. “Healthy” is between 111-146 pounds. So although I wasn’t “overweight” by any medical charts, I was overweight by my standards and knew I had to do something.
At that very moment, I cut out my morning snack (which was usually a muffin out of the lunchroom vending machine). Breakfast was a cheese stick (quick and easy, protein based). Jim and I went to lunch together every day- it was either a Burger King Whopper Jr without mayo and without cheese (290 calories, 12 grams of fat….no fries or soda and only $0.99) OR if I went home for lunch it was a grilled cheese sandwich with no butter, and fat-free american cheese. Water to drink. Dinner was normal- not an oversized portion, and I never ate past 7pm. However, I did limit myself to no more than 30 grams of fat per day….hopefully closer to 20 grams. AS a result of my dietary changes, without exercise, I lost 18 pounds.
I maintained at 120-123 for nearly two years….with zero difficulty. I had stopped counting calories and fat after the first couple months and was just eating small quantities of whatever I wanted, still trying to keep my diet low-fat. I was a size 2-4 and happy!
My first pregnancy in 1999- I gained 55 pounds. YIKES.
I lost most of it after the baby was born, but never those “last 10 pounds”. I was able to maintain 134 for years….even after two more pregnancies. 134 was my new normal.
I was OK with that. It makes me a size 6. I could still wear a bikini and not feel bad about myself. I was eating normal breakfasts and normal lunches and dinners. I was not working out, not watching what I ate. A coke every day. Coffee with International Delights creamer every day. Life is good! I knew with some effort I could get back down, but I really didn’t have any desire to do that. I was happy.
Another turning point. In 2007, at age 34, we had no living room- no tv, no couch to sit on. We were doing some remodeling on our house so every awake moment was spent doing something- always moving, never sedentary. No change in my eating habits, although I was drinking a lot more water. My weight started dropping. I was 128. For my height, that is between a size 2 and 4. At Old Navy, at least!! I loved how thin I felt and loaded up on new clothing. It was fabulous! I felt so good about myself, I felt pretty, I felt sexy. It was amazing!
Then winter hit. I gained my typical 5 pound winter gain which put me at 133. Not bad. That was my “normal” remember? I didn’t lose it. I didn’t care. I maintained that weight through all of 2008.
But then the same thing happened the next winter- another 5 pound weight gain. Now I'm weighing 138. When Spring arrived I managed to lose it and get back to my 133. I still wore a bikini in Mexico that summer (2009). I probably would have looked better in it if I weighed 128, but I was OK at 133.
The following winter- another 5 pound gain. And it wasn't going away. This was 2010. I started running/walking/elliptical-ing 4 days a week- and kept doing it for nearly a year. I watched what I ate, I worked out, but my weight would never go down below 133. "Normal" was 135.
I stopped exercising in March 2011. Oddly, my weight stayed at 135.
I realize that 135 might not sound like a lot. I realize that wearing size 6 or 8 sounds good to most people. But on my frame, 10 pounds makes a tremendous difference. I have several pairs of jeans that don't fit as well as they should and when you spend $100 on a pair of jeans, it's extra motivation to make them fit. I need to get back to size 4.
I have 5 bikinis in my closet that I want to be able to wear.
According to the medical charts…for my age and frame, my ideal weight is 128.
I know I can do it. And if it takes something drastic like Medifast to make it work, I'll do it. I lost 18 pounds before and kept it off for a looooooooooong time. I have no doubts that I can do it again. Sure, I'm older- my body is flabbier, my metabolism is slower. But if I can get down to 120 and wean myself off the diet to maintain 125-128, I will be the happiest girl in the world.
And as embarassing as this is, I'm going to post my "before" pictures. I also took some bikini pictures, but this "muffin top over the jeans" is good enough for now:
Stay tuned!
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